Tears alone cannot express what I feel right now...I have been angry at God, I have cried, questioned...even begged God to return her soul to her body- Lazarus' style, I wanted a 4 days late miracle....nothing happened. Silence..tears..more heart wrenching tears on Sunday as I prepared to go meet her mother
Reg, I will speak in present tense. What can I say about you?? I may not be given opportunity to say this, but as you used text saying "shout it from the roof tops!!" I am now prepared to shout!!!! To know that I will not see you smile again, I saw your picture at mum's place and my tears flowed once again, did you just say go on? Yes- I will try to go on-without you? Yeah, and "our" plans, gosh what was our plan for this year? -To get ourself husbands in Jesus name, I didn't know that you will get yours before me...The Husband of the single girls and the widows. A Husband of husbands, the King of kings and the Lord of lords-God himself was your husband and mine.
As single "girls" we have been accountable to each other, committed to our marriage vows and what the Bible says, the "Thus says the Lord" as you would put it, hahahhaaaaa, we laughed then we would pull put our big bibles and say, what does God say about re-marriage again? and then we said it was not fair that "thus says the Lord" It was very funny, and true we remained true to our vows...till death do us part. So you have gone to sleep in the Lord..he is the great husband. I am left, mourning for you my dear angel. For what you have been to my life and my children. Reg, what can I say?
#tearswellingup Let me continue in the midst of the tars... I can hardly see this screen.
So where do I begin? I met you in 2005, petit lady swinging on the corridors of KEMSA huh..did I ever imagine you will become my Friend like this? one who has stuck closer than a brother? No!! To say I was intimidated is not right but I thought wow what a swagging girl!- I am never intimidated by the way. So I did my casual job for 3 months and at your recommendation I was hired as Admin Assistant for the Consultants at KEMSA. That is when "our" looooooooong journey begun.
Soon we were on talking terms and I got to know you better, even establishing that you were married to my cousin, talk of coincidence!! Little did I know that 4 years later, you would be my little angel God sent to rescue me. When my own story changed and in August 2009 I was homeless without a job with no money, you came strutting into my house at Yaya centre, with 2 bags. "Rose, it is over....come with me to my house for a day, 2 days, a week, a month or...or ..whatever-let's go" The hugs amidst tears-I packed my clothes and whtever else to Kilelesha, Delux Plaza falt B5, here we come.....what we thought was two weeks ended up to be 2 years!!!!!! What! that long? And I never saw any ill feelings or "madharau" as Kenyans would say. 2 years...wah. My kids visited every now and then. There was always cake baked for them...were you a real person or an angel?
Time and time again we prayed, we danced (to praise songs) late into the night, we fasted, we prayed some more. Reg, did our prayers get answered? Yes always.....through it all God was faithful. I drove your car every visiting days to visit my children in their various schools....sometimes you said "haiya this time you have to visit the two at a go? Then just take the car, I will go to church by matatu" I looked at you "What?" and yes I drove your car to the 2 schools, and Richard would came along. The food, the shopping, the pocket money...all came from you my angel.
How many times did I pinch you to see if you are real or you would fly away, then I will just confirm and say "O she was an angel sent for this time, and she has flown back to heaven" Funny thing is that every one I shared this stories with wanted to meet you, but none has met you. ahhahahhaaa I can laugh at this because none of them can prove if you were real now.How sad- I had wanted them to see you for real.
We were both writing "our" books, mine-THE BURIAL WILL NOT HOLD!. you used to ask where I got such funny titles. And yours was almost done but had no title- I was to give one of my funny titles after I read it and corrected stuff....mmhh now? I may never get to give you a funny title. May be I would have the title ANGELS ARE REAL I cannot think of a funny title now my mind for now has lost its funny side. Well, you were to write the forward to my burial will not hold book-did you? I hope it will be found somewhere, but even if not I will try to write what I thought you could have said- I knew you too well, maybe I will do that justice.
Then "our" ministry to single people. We were to begin talking about holiness as you wait for another chance at marriage. I was coming to drop a bombshell of a name this week-then you are not there. So here goes that name I was bringing "BROKEN RIBS" I can hear you laughing "Rose!!! What? Broken ribs!!!??" You are tickled...yes we were the broken ribs, because we were the "bone of my bones" ribs taken from the side of someone who broke their vows, ....made whole by the blood atoning sacrifice of Jesus, he has mended us therefore we were to talk to other broken ribs or breaking ones and tell them God is still their husband, their lover, their friend.The Lord who turned our mourning into dancing, beauty for ashes, gold from stones.
Well dear Reg (that was what I always called you) my kids call you Aunty Reg....they have cried with me and for you my sister...from Sid to Joyce...and in between...Danielle and my own Richard bid as you called my Richard, they all will miss you dearly. But 2 years ago we had a pact didn't we that for all you did for me my children will take care of the small Richard-they will don't you worry about that, our prayers were what? That God will make our children greater than we are. You were Director ICT USIU- Richard will be president!!
Sleep in perfect peace, till we meet on that beautiful resurrection morning-which now I know is very close. And YES!! I will be there coz now more than ever I continue to work out my salvation with more fear and trembling.
This will make a chapter of that book...to be continued
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